day 10. Discuss your first love and your first kiss.
Well they were two different people to start it off.
My first love was my past boyfriend. We were dating for pretty much all of last year. So I can say that I was madly in love with him. And he was the first boyfriend that I actually loved. And man it was great. I’m still not sure if I should have loved him, But in a way I’m glad I’m not sure why. But it made me happy. and feel beautiful. And not so lost.
Now my first kiss was with the boyfriend before my last boyfriend. It was back in grade 8. So 2 years ago. And it was in december I think? Maybe the end of december. Or the begining of January. Anyways it was in winter. And we were at the movies. We were watching inkheart. And he kept trying to get me to kiss him. But I was saying no no no. I’m really nervous. No no no. But he finally convinced me I guess. And we kissed. I consider it more of a lip rape because I was kinda pressured. But I sitll chose to do it, so it doesnt matter to much I guess.
But yeah. That was my first love, and my first kiss. :)
Ok. first off, TO YOU YOU INCONSIDERATE LITTLE BASTARD. DON’T FUCKING COMMENT ON MY FUCKING PHOTO YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. Yes I had my fingers in the shape of a gun pointing at my head. It was an inside joke with my friend. We already hate each other, but that doesn’t give you the right to comment on my photo and say “can I pull the triger?” or go on saying that I’m crazy and a whole lot of other bullshit. And the best part? At the end of all this you write “Don’t kill yourself.(y)” YA WELL GUESS WHAT ASSHOLE. YOU, AND PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE THE ONES WHO MAKE ME WANT TO KILL MYSELF. THIS WHOLE FUCKING STREET. ALL THE KIDS ON THIS STREET. GO TO FUCKING HELL. YOU DON’T EVEN DESERVE TO BE ALIVE. you dirty whores. You ignorent people. You bullies. Is it enough that you tortued me, and almost made me killl myself in grade 8? Was it enough to turn everyone agaisnt me? Was it enough to ruin my whole elementary life? No. I guess it fucking wasn’t
Now on to you. You stupid little bitch. No. you cannot pretend to be my friend, and get all nice with me, then fucking like his comment about pulling the trigger. You are a fucking monster. Did you know that? A fucking monster. You are a double faced, backstabbing bitch. You can’t say anything to my face because you have no balls. No listen up sweety. You are ugly as FUCK. You have the worst personality, and no one fucking likes you. ok? NO ONE.
So you know what? I hope that if I kill myself, you know it’s your fucking fault. I swear to god.
Just move off of this street. all of you. You are so stupid and immature. I hope you drown when you get to the real world.
I hope you all fucking die.
Go to hell.
I fucking hate you more than I hate anything.
Just fucking die.
I want to punch you everytime I see your ugly face. You fucking bitch.
I can’t even explain how much you make me sick.
Just kill yourself. All 5 of you. No one will cry. I promise
My friend has a very bad family life. And he was upset this morning. So I asked him what was wrong and he said he had a fight with his dad this morning. But of course, being me, I didn’t know what to say so I just said “oh….” and turned around after like 3 seconds. Like fuck. I feel like an idiot…..
Why am I so stupid? Why didn’t I do something else?
She's not like that now. She knows better. She knows now that people lie , and promises can be broken as quick as they are made. She understands that she might never be loved , and too quickly good things fly in front of your eyes before you can reach out and grab them. She knows that you can't change or help time, so every now and then it will just run out. There isn't a place for everyone in the world, so if you're standing alone for awhile, that's why. Not everything in life comes easy, but when you work the hardest, that's when it's the best. You can't always expect people to care, and even when your best friends stab you in the front, don't think for one minute that they didn't already aim for your back. They missed for a reason. She has found out to soon, that in the end, you are your own best friend. Everyone will be broken at some point in their life and more often than not, its gonna hurt like hell. But you can't stop it. You can't change your fate. Some things are meant to be and all the pain you go through will end up resulting in something huge. You don't know what it is and when it happens, it will hit you like a ton of bricks. At some point, when you have experienced everything you can, the words 'Life' and 'Risk' won't mean anything to you anymore. But don't try and change that. Stuff like that is meant to happen. Over time, certain things no longer have an affect on you. And that happens because that's the way it supposed to be. But you'll learn all that later in life when little things like a sunrise or a spring rain start to matter. But it might catch you off guard and happen sooner.
He’s a year older than me, I think he’s so adorable!
He’s really upbeat and happy(Which is what I need) And he doesn’t flirt with other girls. So thats good! And I think hes really cute.
and he’s funny. So that’s good. So I guess I’m starting to get a bit of a crush.
I’m proud of myself. I really am.
But I;m pretty sure he doesnt like me
After I told my friend, and shes friends with him, about how I liked him he ironically asked if she had any hot friends that would like him. And she of course said me. And I of course had to be walking down the hall.( I looked so bad today. My hair was messed. I had no makeup on) and he was like her? Pointing at me. And hse goes yupp. And he goes sweet and walks away.