When total strangers are taking pictures in public, I look directly at the camera expressionlessly; hoping that when they look back at it, it will appear as though some psychopath is looking them in the eyes through the photo.
We were shopping today and he put his arm on my back, and around my waist, and I got these INSANE butterflies. :3
and the best part was that I was with my girls. I was with 3 other girls, and he still came shopping with me. Even though I could tell he was just being nice by coming. I really don’t think any of my other ex’s would have came with me.
Gah. He makes me so happy. He’s such a sweetheart. And he’s better then all those other times. I think he’s scared to lose me this time.
It’s good to have him back.
God. I love him so much. He just makes me so happy. And everything just amazing. He’s the best. <3
I can’t even come up with words to describe him, or how he makes me feel, or how fantastic he is, or how special he is to me.
I love him to bits. <3 <3 <3 <3
you are my sunshine. My only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. <3
Is it strange that I find every one of my scars beautiful?
No. Not the reasons behind them. But they tell a story. Of every regret. Of every tear. Of every desperate act. Of strength. Of hatred. They all tell SOMETHING. And I think it’s beautiful.
And when people take my arm, and look at those scars. When they run their fingers over those scars, and trace them. It’s like they get a little bit about those stories. But they really have no idea. They only know a little tiny part. I think it’s comforting when people do that. It’s like they understand.
these scars are so beautiful. Even if they aren’t very bad, some of them are deep. And they’re beautiful. So so beautiful. Just like their stories, and the things that I’ve gone through. They’ve just made me stronger and beautiful
so I inboxed him yesterday an I was like, are you still upset? I’m sorry. :(
ad he’s like, I was just mad that you think you’re so ugly.
Then I was like, I think we were mad for different reasons……..
so then he calls me and he was like why were YOU mad?
and I went on about the trust issues, and how I’m scared of being used, and how he always talks about sex, and it’s like is that all you want from me? Sometimes you push it too much and it pissed me off.
AND THEN HE GOES
“Meagan, I just say that because… idk. I just do. I honestly don’t care about that. I could wait untill we’re both 40. I don’t care about that. I really don’t. When it happens, it’ll happen. I won’t push it. I can wait. i don’t mind”
And then some other stuff. I just don’t really remember. And then I’m just like, WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING PERFECT. LIKE REALLY
And he was going on about I don’t need makeup, and I’m not ugly. And I’m so beautiful. And all this stuff. And I’m just like. How in the hell did I get you? What did I ever do to deserve you? You really are too great. (L)
And then he came over for like an hour today. And I was like YAY HAPPYNESS! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY. And we just chilled. He’s actually so sweet. We can just talk for hours on end. Anyways. We’re not fighting anymore. He came over. Took away a lot of my fears, and we’re good now.
Life is good
Happy 2 weeks baby. (L)
You are my sunshine. My only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray.
Lady Gaga taught me Its okay to be different. Ke$ha taught me to be myself and not care what anyone else thinks. Bruno Mars taught me to do anything for that one person I love. Eminem taught me that life is hard but you can make it through. Taylor Swift taught me not every guy is going to treat me right. Michael Jackson taught me to always love the people around me. Bob Marley taught me to live my life in peace. Music taught me how to live.
I want you to come online. I want to tell u that im sorry. But in a way im not. we're mad for different reasons I think. But I miss not talking to you. I hate it when we fight. it hurts. This was a stupid argument. if u know what I mean. It was silly, and now we're mad at each other. Hell. If your actually mad about the photo thing. Well that just proves that you're fucking amazing. Because you got this upset cu I said im ugly. But I'm upset about the whole fucking thing. u said that's why you're not mad but idk. I have trust issues and I'm terrified of being used. That's why I won't do it, and took offense to it. Because I'm scared. I'm scared of being used, of things going wrong, of you just wanting sex. I'm terrified. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry about last night. When you told me to leave you alone. I probably should have. But I didn't. I should have just shut up, and said sorry. Or just waited. I'm sorry. I really am. So we should go make up now.... without the sex..... and everything shuld be happy and go-lucky now. Please? So I'm going to go now. I'm sorry. I love you.