If you read this we’re dating now, no choice.
shakespeares-sisters: i’m weird ok but when i say i’m weird i don’t mean like your cute and quirky girlfriend i mean fucking weird
allghosting: sweet-bitsy: this post...
Two churches located across the street from each...
asktonraq: mrimaginarius: observingobservations: paranoidrobot: I reblog this every time it comes on my dash. See some Catholics (LIKE ME!) ARE FUN!lmao //Go my Catholic brothers and sisters.
me: *likes someone*
me: *thinks i have a chance*
me: *remembers what i look like*
i hate people, but i hate saying i hate people because that makes me sound mean I’m nice i like people its just that i hate people
I feel like I should be payed whenever I hang out with people because I’m so ugly that I make them like victoria’s secret models.
You know what really sucks?
The girl that he likes is just like ME. Granted she’s really really effortlessly beautiful, and thin, and has a great sense of humour and is really nice. BUT I’M LIKE THAT 2. Ok I’m a bit of an asshole, BUT I’M ACTUALLY REALLY NICE. She’s got short hair, we both swim for competition (Well I’m not on a team anymore) Our best strokes are front crawl and...
i get walked into in the hall: sorry
i get knocked and drop my books: sorry
i get pushed against the wall: sorry
i get pushed down a couple of stairs: sorry
i get pushed out the window: sorry
i get run over by a car: sorry
i get murdered: sorry
metallikato: I see a little silhouetto of a man ScaraMOUCHE scaraMOUCHE Will you do the fandango? ＴＨＵＮＤＥＲＢＯＬＴＳ ＡＮＤ ＬＩＧＨＴＮＩＮＧ ＶＥＲＹ ＶＥＲＹ ＦＲＩＧＨＴＥＮＩＮＧ Me! Galileo,Galileo Galileo,Galileo Galileo, Figaro magnificooooooooooo~
I'm so glad I don't have to go into work this...
Tomorrow we have the head of the company coming in, we’re getting tested on the mission and vision and on one of our safety breaks, we’re having a sit go down. BLESS YOU SKIN ALLERGY. I AM SO HAPPY THAT I HAVE YOU LIVING ON MY LEG. I also got to miss training, which was hard as balls. (I got paid to watch) They just did a bunch of physicals and races and shit. And I just got to...
Oh. My. God.
We didn’t let this one little boy on the slide because he was JUST under the height requirement, so of course, his father was angry. After yelling at us for a while, and yelling at the supervisers, and my boss, he yelled this; “YOU DISCRIMINATE AGAINST 30 YEAR OLD MIDGETS.” His son was like 10….. He wasn’t 30…. nor a midget. But I peed myself, it was the...
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.– Steven Wright (via fetishhhh)
So there's only one channel in this motel,
madeofmetals: This morning while I was getting ready I was watching Sesame Street. They were doing this bit where some clown was trying to wash his hands but kept washing his feet or his elbows and Elmo would go, “no mister noodle, your HANDS!” and all the tv kids would laugh. Around the fourth or fifth time he couldn’t find his hands, I heard a grown man yell from somewhere else in the motel,...
me: why are those guys staring at me
me: is there something on my face
me: is there something on my shirt
me: they're probably laughing at how ugly i am
me: they probably find it amusing how fat i am
friend: maybe they think you're cute
me: are you retarded or something
I wish I could dance I wish I had a dancers body I wish I was thin