It’s 11:34 at night,
and I should have started my homework 10 hours ago.
I keep gaining weight,
heLP ME.
I JUST WANT TO STOP BEING FAT
I had a panic attack right before work,
like 15 min before my shift started,
and I almost started crying because I was just so panicked, and stuff,
and IT WAS SUCH A STRUGGLE HAVING TO TEACH CHILDREN HOW TO SWIM WHEN I WAS STILL PANICKY AND NEAR TEARS.
THIS REALLY CUTE GUY AT WORK LOOKS LIKE CHRIS HEMSWORTH
I JUST FIGURED THIS OUT,
AND I FLIPPED MY SHIT.
2 months tomorrow, that you’ve been dead.
Why is losing weight so hard,
Why is my job so stupid and why must it stress me out so much,
And why do I HAVE SO MUCH DUE TOMORROW.
I’m just really stressed, and I just want to stay home forever.
wowowow
my prom dress looks better with the weight I’ve gained, because I fill it out more,
BUT I’M SO WORRIED THAT IF I GAIN ONE MORE POUND, IT WON’T FIT BECAUSE IT FITS SO PERFECTLY.
THIS IS SUCH A STRUGGLE.
I’VE BEEN EATING HEALTHY
AND WORKING OUT
AND I HAVEN’T LOST WEIGHT
AND I’M SO ANGRY
DO YOU STILL HAVE TO DO PRESENTATIONS IN UNIVERSITY???!??!?!?
Forgetting.
It’s strange
because I don’t remember
the sound of your voice,
the way you laugh,
or what month it was
that I saw you last.
It is strange to think
that a man as warm as you,
could have something
so cold
hidden inside of him.
It is strange
because you begin
to forget little things,
which just makes
the whole picture
blurry.
Family ties
Its hard not to stare
when I see your son in the halls,
because he looks just like you,
and all I want
is to wrap him in an embrace
in hopes that he will hold me back
the exact same way
as you did,
back during the winter months
when I saw you
for the last time.
Leading up to the two month anniversary of your death.
You killed yourself
in the middle of March,
when it was still cold
and snowy.
Sometimes I wonder
if you cried when you tied
that noose around your neck,
and if you wanted to live,
the second that you kicked
the chair away.
Two months feels
so long ago,
but it has been less than 60 days
since you tied the rope.
Wow can I just buy a hot body for prom?????????????????
I CAN’T STOP EATING BROWNIES.
HELP ME.
I have calculated my workouts, and this means
that from Monday to Friday,
I CAN LOSE 4-5 POUNDS.
AND THEN
FOR THE NEXT WEEK,
I CAN LOSE 3-4 POUNDS,
AND THAT MEANS
THAT I CAN LOSE A TOTAL OF 7-9 POUNDS BEFORE PROM.
AHAHAHAHA.
